Living with dogs is like accepting sexual deviants into your home.
“I’m going to chew on this plastic replication of a duck while I get a raging boner”
“Really? That’s cool. I’m just going to sit her a lick my own ass hole for twenty minutes while making the worst noises with my tongue you’ve ever heard.”
They hump your leg, the sniff your crotch.
I’m starting to think I’m a cat person.
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My cat suckles her own nipples. Loudly. True story.